It's My {Pity} Party & I'll Bake If I Want To

I hate that this is on a red, plastic base, but it's my cake carrier
& I wasn't about to risk moving it and dropping the cake!

Confession time: I was having a bit of a pity party yesterday.

It happens.

In the midst of baking a cake for my mother-in-law {and messing up the texture of the frosting, starting out with a sloppy piping job, and just about running out of time to finish it before work...}, I started thinking.

Too much. About silly things like blog statistics and readership. Ad space and content. Food styling and photography. And my novice status on all of the above things.

Self doubt has its way of rearing it's ugly head from time to time. Especially when fueled by comparison. It's a terrible thing {and sort of makes me want to stick my head in the sand, ostrich-style, and check out as little as possible "out there" in the food blogging world.}

This tends to happen when I start thinking about what I want and where I am and how much further I have to go. I have often said before that I am my worst critic. No one could be more demanding or set higher expectations than those I set for myself. {In general, not just in blog world.}

And since I am constantly raising that proverbial bar, many times I end up feeling like I'm eons away from getting to where I want to go.

But then...

I receive one tiny comment. One satisfied "Mmm..." following a forkful of cake. An inquiry from a server at a fine restaurant asking if I have considered becoming a pastry chef. {Which, to me, is more of a compliment than asking if I've considered becoming Miss America. To each his own, I suppose.}

And just like that, I realize that sometimes you just have to acknowlege that your "reward" may not come from a spike in readership or your own show on Food Network. After all, those were never my reasons for starting this project {or any} project to begin with.

Many times when people have asked why I do this {the blog, that is}, I find myself scrambling for a valid reason that will satisfy their curiosity... and that's when I begin to question myself. {Surely, no sane person would spend hours on end cooking, photographing, and writing just because.}

Until yesterday, I had not come to terms with the fact that I have a love for food, plain and simple. That I don't have to have a reason or proof to show for it. That I can write this blog just because I want to and not for the purpose of money, recognition, or reward. {Though, let's be honest, those things can be nice, too.}

I considered keeping these thoughts to myself, but the truth is, this blog is about sharing. So, in the spirit of full disclosure, I decided to put it all out there. Because who knows... some of you might be feeling the same way. About your own doubts, projects, and anxieties. About the unknown or the "thought-you-knew".

So, consider this an official invite to what started out as a pity party. But let's not call it that anymore. Let's turn it into a celebration. And I'll bring the cake.

Fresh Strawberry Cake & Quick Buttercream Frosting recipes both from Confessions of a Foodie Bride*

*I made two 8 inch round cakes with this recipe and sliced each in half to create a 4 layer cake. Each layer was covered with Quick Buttercream Frosting and a thin layer of  leftover Strawberry Puree that I thickened up a bit on the stovetop. Any other questions, feel free to ask! :)